How to Talk to a Friend about an Alcohol Related Problem

Talking to a friend about a serious alcohol related problem can be hard. But the earlier you intervene, the better chance your friend has to recover and address his or her problem. It takes courage, but think of the consequences that might occur if no one takes the first step and intervenes with a friend who has had too much to drink. If you intervene, you can make a difference in someone’s life.
Any combination of the following can be signs of dependence on alcohol or dangerous alcohol use:
  • Loss of control - attempts to control drinking fail despite promises to self and others
  • Blackouts - inability to recall all or part of a drinking episode
  • Increased tolerance - needs more alcohol than before to obtain the same effects and can "outdrink" most other people
  • Continued drinking despite academic, legal, health, financial, relationship and/or other problems
  • Changes in personality
  • Neglect of responsibilities “Pre-partying" - drinking occurs before a social event where alcohol will be served and drinks are often "gulped" to get drunk as quickly as possible
  • Denial and minimizing - claims drinking is not a problem and/or tries to justify it
  • Drinking to feel "normal" - uses alcohol to cope, escape problems, solve problems or feel like everyone else
    Source: Warning Signs of a Drinking Problem. 2001. Urbana, Ill.: University of Illinois.
If you see these signs in a friend’s behavior, use the following tips to intervene:
  • Express concern and be caring, considerate and honest
  • Explain why you are intervening
  • Do no accuse…share your observations
  • Don’t make assumptions…ask questions
  • Timing is everything…make sure you ask yourself if now is the right time and place
  • Provide resources that might help your friend
  • Always follow-up with your friend and make sure you follow through if you said you would do something
If you would like more information on how to intervene and help a friend, contact Cara Setchell at 765-658-4270 or studentservices@depauw.edu.
If you feel your friend is in a dangerous or life-threatening situation, immediately contact DePauw Public Safety at 765.658-4261 or 911.